What do I expect?
I expect to find out info about how family violence began to be “seen” in society. I also expect to hear in the research methods section about how it is hard to see the true extent of DV in society due to testing.
What did I learn?
Out of all of the amazing information from the first two chapters of this book I believe is the 7 myths about DV. It was very smart of the authors to put this first so that everyone can come learn this material without social bias. These are also myths that I want to share with you all since I have believed some of these myths as well. So here! Lots of knowledge!! Read and learn!!!
Myth 1: Family Violence is Uncommon
Family violence is usually hidden behind closed doors. One of the only ways we can measure the extent of Family Violence might be from self-report surveys. The problem with self-reporting is that not everyone replies, some people don’t answer particular questions, or lie. However, from the information we have received about Family Violence from researchers in this area is that we can safely assume that family violence is more common than our studies show. However, there is a flip side to that. Myth 2.
Myth 2: Family Violence has reached epidemic levels.
While there may be a lot of media coverage today about DV, that does not necessarily mean that DV is getting any more prevalent than it is in the past. DV has happened throughout history. In fact, children today are more likely than children of the past to be victims of family violence and neglect. However, that does not mean that DV is a problem that we should ignore. It is still a social problem that hurts many people in our time. Since this is a social problem it is our job as a society to try and fix it.
Myth 3: Risk Makers Cause Family Violence.
A lot of people, even in academia, often confuse correlation with causation. CORRELATION ≠DOES NOT EQUAL≠ CAUSATION!!! While certain risk markers increases chances for family violence (risk markers found through Correlational observation or research) it does not explain nor cause family violence. A great example the book gives is that studies shows that adults that violent adults have exposed to much more childhood violence that adults that are non-abusive. This does not mean that all adults that experience childhood violence becomes an abuser. This is Correlational data, it shows a trend, not causation. We must always be aware, especially us going into the helping professions to be actively be aware of correlation and causation while reading journals and other studies.
Myth 4: “Victims Ask for it”
This is one of the most important myths that I think we should bust. I have actually heard people say this as being serious, and also as a joke. People that back up the belief that “Victims ask for it” are people who say thinks like “Well [the victim] was a bitch” or “[The victim] doesn’t leave, it’s their fault it’s still happening”. This kind of talk makes it look like the victims are to blame. The victims ARE NOT to blame. When we say these kinds of things we are shifting the blame from the abusers, who are at fault, to the victims. Pretty sick right? There are also many reasons why victims don’t or can’t leave. Many victims are being controlled by their abusers. They may not have a phone to call for help or friends that can help them. Their lives might be threatened if they tell or show anyone that they are being abused. Also, the victim may have children that might be in danger if they left. And last but not least, it might be hard to believe, but the victim may still be in love with the abuser. Sometimes abusers show two different sides. Sometimes life is good like it always was and the abuser was the person the victim fell in love with. Other times they are not. This is awfully confusing and makes it extremely hard to leave a violence situation. If I want you to read this blog and go away with anything, I ask you to remember this.
I’ve written a lot so far so I am going to skip to Myth 7 since I think it is the next most important.
Myth 7: Women who claim date rape are “lying”, “Deserve it” or were “asking for it”.
Have any of you ever said about a rape victim “She shouldn’t be drinking so much”, “She should have worn jeans and not that ‘skanky skirt’”? I am not proud of it, but I know I have. It wasn’t until my SOC of GENDER class last year that I really thought about this. Why is it that when a girl goes to a party that she must be wear modest clothes (that society says she shouldn’t wear)? Why should she have to watch her drink? Why can’t she get drunk like everyone else at a party and be safe? This myth is a lot like myth 4. We are shifting the blame from the rapists to the victim. Women shouldn’t have to watch how much they drink. RAPISTS SHOULDN’T RAPE!!! A woman shouldn’t have to watch what she’s wearing. RAPIST’S SHOULDN’T RAPE!!! Also, we need to take accusations about rape very seriously. How tough would it be to tell someone you were raped? It is actually, as the book says, uncommon on campus’ to report rape. I can account that it is. While I have heard about rape on our campus, and believe me it does happen, our 2007 safety report shows no reported rapes. In fact, the sheet says “No rape”. If someone is brave enough to tell someone they were raped, we should not shoot them down by sayin’ “pfft, whatever” we need to help them take the proper steps they are willing to take to get them help.
Wow, so this has been a really long post, I hope you all made it here! These are some tough myths to bust but I hope you learned a lot like I did! love to talk to anyone about these if they want! Leave me a comment and I’ll chat! Also, I urge all of you to talk to people about these myths! The more people we talk to about these, the more people will hear the truth. It is the only way we can start about social change!
-Alex
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