This week we obviously talked about dating violence and whenever I think about dating violence anymore I think about Rape Culture.
We were talking in Soc of Gender last year about how women are always told not to drink to much or to watch what they wear and never walk alone at night or else they might get raped. These are really problematic ways of thinking about rape. Why should a woman have to worry about what she wears or how much she drinks among friends? People shouldn't rape. When we back up these methods of protecting oneself from rape we are putting a Band-Aid on a gun wound. We are backing up rape culture. We are basically saying as a society that rape is a normal concurrence and we just have to live with that fact. So instead of asking what a woman (although men are and can be raped as well!) "did wrong to protect herself against rape". We should ask "Why are rapist raping?".
However, I am not saying that we should not give women (and men) the skills to protect themselves now! That is important since this is a perverse social problem, that sadly, won't be eliminated overnight. I am just trying to point out where the cause is and where some of our efforts to elimiate this huge problem should look.
Also, I had this female student in my class comment on my discussion and how she thought I was wrong to say this, that the US was not a rape culture and that women shouldn't be so "naive" and not drink to much at "frat" parties. However, I responded to her by pointing out she was clearly backing up my argument. Our culture, and other cultures around the world, normalize rape. We think it is a normal, and heaven-forbid, a natural occurance (usually by men) that can't be helped, that it's just a fact we live with. That is what makes a culture a rape culture. We normalize it with our speech and even give it a positive spin when we say something like "Oh, I'd rape that" or "I rapped that, shit" (which I have definitely been guilty of this and am seriously working on not saying that ever again).
However, I was very happy to find that another gentleman and a lot more students sided with my argument and added some great insights and facts to my initial post. It really makes me hopefully that more people are on the right mind track about preventing rape culture just within themselves and as it sounds like, in other avenues of life.
I could seriously have discussions about this all day, so if any of you have questions or comments send me a comment or e-mail! Or those of you on my facebook drop me a message or comment there as well!
-Alex
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Week 8: Sin By Silence
This week we had two different objectives.
One was to watch the documentary "Sin by Silence" about a group of women in the California Institute for Women who killed their violent intimate partners when they saw no other escape , and write a paper on our reactions, and the second was to look up domestic violence deaths on mydeathspace.com.
"Sin by Silence"
Wow. just wow. I can't even begin to really explain how that documentary made me feel. I was angry, sad, hopeless and hopeful all at the same time. It was so awful to see these women, who had been terrorized and beaten and seeing no other escape, killed their violent intimate partners. Many people think, "well, these women should have found another way". Ok, yeah, that would have been great. However, being a victim of DV and being stuck with a partner who controls you, your money, sometimes your friends, isolates you and makes you believe there is no other escape, can be a real deterrence from seeking forms of help outside of the situation. Also, there are not always great advocates and resources in small communities. What then? If you don't have a car, access to a phone or internet, what is one supposed to do? There are so many factors that play into why these women took the actions they thought were right, it is hard (and in my opinion, not right) to pass judgment on them.
Some interesting facts I found while I was writing this paper that I think you might all want to know about is Intimate Terrorism (IT) and Violent Response (VR). IT is intimate terrorism is a pattern of fear-prodding and controlling behaviors that can be criminal (from assaults and stalking) to non-criminal (monitoring partners friends, activities, public humiliation, etc). These are some of the actions that these women in the documentary suffered and probably contributed to the reason they saw murder as their only means of escape. VR is violent self defense. Often times if a partner fights back it elicits a more aggressive and dangerous actions from the violent partner. This, again, can contribute to these women's reasons for escaping the situation the way they did.
Some of you might be wondering about Battered Woman Syndrome (BWS) that is sometimes a defense for women who do kill their partners in self-defense against DV. Some of these women, though, were convicted of murder before BWS began to talked about in the court setting. Also BWS is technically not a defense, but more of a testimony from professionals and the examination of DV as prior evidence. Many of these women were charged on the murder and the jury might not have heard all of the previous violence done to the victim, therefore, condemning these women to life in prison. Even with the "discovery" of BWS in the late 1980's, some of these women who ask for an appeal still were not freed. BWS is also loosing steam in the world today, there are a few problems with it. It's hard to prove for one, and it is also very gender biased. So while BWS might still be used in some contexts, it is not the great shield that some of us think of it as. Still, these women (and all victims of IPV) suffer.
However, there was something really empowering and hopeful about this documentary. One of the women, Brenda, founded CWAA (Convicted Women Against Abuse). In the California Institute for Women, Brenda led groups to help women who killed their partners like she had, understand DV, the causes, warning signs, and ways to protect oneself. She came back from her darkest spot to help these women, who in turn, help more women and so and so forth. Even from the bowls of this California penitenary, these woman showing great reslience and are fighting the battle against DV....and doing one hell of a great job!
All in all, this was a seriously impacting documentary I urge you all to watch. I really got me more invested in this research and kind of put more steam into my personal mission of dispelling social myths revolving around DV in my everyday life.
Mydeathspace.com
So the second part of this week we had to look on this website, mydeathspace.com (a site for obituaries), and look up vicitms of DV. I found a few, very horrifying accounts which I am not going to recite here, you can look them up for yourself. However, it wasn't the articles that disturbed me, but the comments that people had. People would post horrible comments like "that bitch deserved it" or "that's not rape, he was her husband" that made jokes about these serious acts of DV that resulted in death and also backed up rape culture. I was completely horrified. In fact, I don't really remember seeing a lot of positive comments at all. It makes me upset to see this happening....
Anways, that's all I had for this week.
-Ciao
One was to watch the documentary "Sin by Silence" about a group of women in the California Institute for Women who killed their violent intimate partners when they saw no other escape , and write a paper on our reactions, and the second was to look up domestic violence deaths on mydeathspace.com.
"Sin by Silence"
Wow. just wow. I can't even begin to really explain how that documentary made me feel. I was angry, sad, hopeless and hopeful all at the same time. It was so awful to see these women, who had been terrorized and beaten and seeing no other escape, killed their violent intimate partners. Many people think, "well, these women should have found another way". Ok, yeah, that would have been great. However, being a victim of DV and being stuck with a partner who controls you, your money, sometimes your friends, isolates you and makes you believe there is no other escape, can be a real deterrence from seeking forms of help outside of the situation. Also, there are not always great advocates and resources in small communities. What then? If you don't have a car, access to a phone or internet, what is one supposed to do? There are so many factors that play into why these women took the actions they thought were right, it is hard (and in my opinion, not right) to pass judgment on them.
Some interesting facts I found while I was writing this paper that I think you might all want to know about is Intimate Terrorism (IT) and Violent Response (VR). IT is intimate terrorism is a pattern of fear-prodding and controlling behaviors that can be criminal (from assaults and stalking) to non-criminal (monitoring partners friends, activities, public humiliation, etc). These are some of the actions that these women in the documentary suffered and probably contributed to the reason they saw murder as their only means of escape. VR is violent self defense. Often times if a partner fights back it elicits a more aggressive and dangerous actions from the violent partner. This, again, can contribute to these women's reasons for escaping the situation the way they did.
Some of you might be wondering about Battered Woman Syndrome (BWS) that is sometimes a defense for women who do kill their partners in self-defense against DV. Some of these women, though, were convicted of murder before BWS began to talked about in the court setting. Also BWS is technically not a defense, but more of a testimony from professionals and the examination of DV as prior evidence. Many of these women were charged on the murder and the jury might not have heard all of the previous violence done to the victim, therefore, condemning these women to life in prison. Even with the "discovery" of BWS in the late 1980's, some of these women who ask for an appeal still were not freed. BWS is also loosing steam in the world today, there are a few problems with it. It's hard to prove for one, and it is also very gender biased. So while BWS might still be used in some contexts, it is not the great shield that some of us think of it as. Still, these women (and all victims of IPV) suffer.
However, there was something really empowering and hopeful about this documentary. One of the women, Brenda, founded CWAA (Convicted Women Against Abuse). In the California Institute for Women, Brenda led groups to help women who killed their partners like she had, understand DV, the causes, warning signs, and ways to protect oneself. She came back from her darkest spot to help these women, who in turn, help more women and so and so forth. Even from the bowls of this California penitenary, these woman showing great reslience and are fighting the battle against DV....and doing one hell of a great job!
All in all, this was a seriously impacting documentary I urge you all to watch. I really got me more invested in this research and kind of put more steam into my personal mission of dispelling social myths revolving around DV in my everyday life.
Mydeathspace.com
So the second part of this week we had to look on this website, mydeathspace.com (a site for obituaries), and look up vicitms of DV. I found a few, very horrifying accounts which I am not going to recite here, you can look them up for yourself. However, it wasn't the articles that disturbed me, but the comments that people had. People would post horrible comments like "that bitch deserved it" or "that's not rape, he was her husband" that made jokes about these serious acts of DV that resulted in death and also backed up rape culture. I was completely horrified. In fact, I don't really remember seeing a lot of positive comments at all. It makes me upset to see this happening....
Anways, that's all I had for this week.
-Ciao
Monday, March 7, 2011
Week 7: IPV II
This week we covered chapter 11 on IPV Abusers.
The first thing that I came across that I want to relate to you all is the “Cycle of Violence”. This is the confusing spiral that traps victims and makes it hard to leave. I’m sure most of you have heard (or even experienced) this cycle, but for everyones purpose it is thus:
or incase you need words:
In case you need it more poignantly said:
Can you imagine how confusing it is to have all this violence against you and then be with the “person you fell in love with” again? To answer honestly, I would be seriously confused.
The rest of this chapter goes on to talk about risk factors for perpetrators of IPV such as being socialized to believe that some forms of violence is ok or normal, behavioral problems (antisocial behaviors, etc). Which are very important, but not what’s really on my mind right now (so ask later, ok? J) What’s really pressing on my mind is the small lines in the book about military IPV.
To begin, I love our soldiers!!! I support them 100%!! The war….not so much. Regardless, I care for all our people and after having friends in the armed forces and ROTC roommates, there’s no way in hell I couldn’t love our troops. However, members of the armed forces do seem to have added risk factors when it comes to IPV.
The book states that some research shows that there is a small significant difference compared to deployed and non-deployed personnel in that deployed personnel were more likely to be severely violent. The book also shows that reports of IPV among the armed forces has increased over the last few years. The same section goes on to show reports that members of the armed forces show significantly higher rates of sever IPV than civilians. However, I really want to see more studies done in this area. What is really causing this disparity?
The book says that some of the reason could be an community that values hypermasculinity and aggression and traditional sex roles. But maybe there is more than that?
I did do some extra research about specific prevalence rates in the armed forces but the results and reasons greatly varied. Again, I really hope more studies are done in this area.
On promising note however, the book did show some research on recidivism rates of IPV in military offenders. The study shows that military offenders have a much lower rate of recidivism (returning to the pattern of abuse) than civilians! This study went further to research what kinds of treatment were best but found that the type of treatment had no significant difference but still 83% of participants did not recitivate. That’s seriously huge!! I wonder what factors account for this as well?
Anyway, that’s what I found interesting in this chapter. Again, if y’all have any questions or comments, I’d love to hear your feedback!
-Alex
Saturday, March 5, 2011
CIB 2.5 - Feelings in a Nutshell
This is what I was feeling when I read about the myth between child abuse and future abuse. This video included not only my frustration, but also shows some different forms of child abuse.
Smile Empty Soul - Nowhere Kids by AtlanticRecords
Smile Empty Soul - Nowhere Kids by AtlanticRecords
"Nowhere Kids"
in the land of dirt and plaster
lies an army of a thousand nowhere kids
losing ground and falling faster
into a life that no one should have to live
we are the people that you hate
we are the bastards that you created (the fucking bastards that you created)
a generation with no place
a generation of all your sons and daughters
behind the fake family image
behind the smile of a thousand moms and dads
inside the cage that we've been given
i see an image of the future that we don't have
[chorus]
and what did you expect ... a perfect child
raised by tv sets ... abandoned every mile
we never get respect ... never a fair trial
no one gives a shit ... as long as we smile
CIB 2 - Abusive Myths
Hey All!
So today I read the chapter on abusive mythology in “Why Does He Do That”. Of course I picked out this chapter because I wanted to bust social myths revolving around DV, because our society has a lot of them. Anyway, the first myth Bancroft brings up is “He was abused as a child and therefore he abuses”
After reading this first myth I became highly skeptical. Granted, I am usually really skeptical at books that don’t show a lot of facts and a written by one author. So I did some extra research.
Bancroft talks about how the correlations between past abuse and future abuse is weak. He doesn’t really bring up his other reasons he believes people abuse other than that they have an abuse problem. However, I remember reading from the textbook from this class that brought up a study that said direct physical or sexual abuse or exposure to interparental violence is associated with later aggression. I also searched around the resources in the library and found a study done on a large sample of folks through a three part longitudinal study that analyzed if past abuse would lead to adolescent dating violence and therefore result in adult interpersonal violence. The study discovered, again, that yes, there is a moderate correlation between former abuse and future abuse. (That study can be found here: http://ida.lib.uidaho.edu:5053/content/43/1/171.full.pdf+html). I also read some of the abstracts from another article that said the same thing. Gender differences also play a role in the correlation between child abuse and future abuse. I found this great study here if you all want to check that out as well! (http://ida.lib.uidaho.edu:6233/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=b44e5e1a-3401-4c81-b621-3dab5ab83bbb%40sessionmgr114&vid=2&hid=123)
Now, don’t get me wrong. There are definitely other factors that play into a person’s life that leads them to become abusive or not (resilience is a very overlooked factor). However, I think Bancroft really threw this out the window as a complete myth, which from my research shows that it is not. Of course, you are more than welcome to form you own opinion, and I urge you all to do studying and research for yourself as well! Don’t take me as a soul source of information, but rather a good start to future knowledge. Anyway, if you want to take a look at Bancroft’s ideas and information you can check out his website here: (http://www.lundybancroft.com/)
While I don’t want this post to be too big Bancroft does go over many other myths that I totally want to cover in a future post (if you can’t wait that long please e-mail me!!) But I wanted to talk about this one solely today since it is a big one and one that needs to be covered with some depth.
And, as in last post, here’s a video of me explaining the association between child abuse and future abuse:
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